Scene 1: Of Slices and Serendipity
Guildhouse Lane, Greyhawk City – Marketday Morning
The scent of fire-roasted tomatoes, basil, and sizzling cheese lingers in the summer air like a siren’s call. Guildhouse Lane bustles with hungry patrons and curious onlookers. Just behind the Breadmonger’s Hall, at Stall 6, a makeshift sign swings lazily in the breeze:
Talon’s and Turkey: Featuring the All-New DiGiorno Pizza!
"It’s not delivery—it’s magically infused."
Each member of the party arrives independently, having seen the flashy broadsheets plastered around Greyhawk’s city walls such as:
“WANTED: Brave souls with strong legs, stout hearts, and a decent sense of direction.”
“Join the Talon’s and Turkey Launch! New Product! New Routes! Free Samples!”
Or:
Enter the Party
Fizz the elven warlock, drawn more by whimsy than duty, sips a glowing pear-fizz drink purchased from a nearby cart. With a toast to Lady Orlana of the Rose-Mist Court, he mutters, “May this carbonation tickle thee, my lady,” and pockets the bottlecap like it’s sacred.
Garrin "Mouse" Thistlemoor prowls the edge of the stall, ferret companion twitching from his hood. His eyes scan the crowd for danger—or discarded crusts.
Sir Cedric Mournvale, upright in armor that rattles with each step, inspects the stall like a knight sent to inspect the holy relics of a shrine. He clears his throat twice before deciding that yes, this is likely divine work.
Joffrey “Joff” Bellweather spins his handcrafted god wheel in front of the samples table. It lands on Pelor. “Ah, yes,” he murmurs, solemnly nibbling a slice, “the warmth of the sun… or perhaps a sign from Pholtus?”
The group, having crossed paths before in taverns and alleys, exchanges nods of cautious familiarity—Greyhawk adventurers in loose orbit, now drawn together by cheesy fate.
A Stir in the Crowd
Trumpets blare—a bit prematurely. A cloaked herald huffs past, followed by Lord Ambassador To’mas Waverly, draped in silks and self-importance. With him is an entourage of aides, one scribe, and a man furiously sketching pizza slices in a ledger. They are soon seen speaking with Tanerom Krusk, the Half-Orc DiGiorno Logistics Marshal, and Erika, a statuesque elven woman with the charm of a seasoned barkeep and the sales drive of a silver dragon.
Nearby, Mellan von Rippentroppf, a broad-shouldered, swarthy man with a jeweled thumb ring, interrupts the negotiations: “If a shipment is going to Hommlet, I insist this chest reaches the mage, Burne. I’ll pay handsomely.”
To’mas waves him off. “I deal with nobles and Viscounts, not cluttered boxes.”
At that moment, Erika mentions they are short wagon drivers—Greyhawk’s war with Bissel having thinned the ranks. Tanerom groans, “Even our mule wrangler ran off to become a bard.”
To’mas Waverly, ever the opportunist, turns and spies the gathered would-be adventurers. His eyes land on Cedric and—loud enough to draw laughter from a few townsfolk—proclaims:
“You there! Yes, you—the earnest lad in the creaky armor. In the name of the Viscount of Verbobonc and under the DiGiorno Charter of Civic Restoration, I hereby knight thee… a Knight In DiGiorno’s Service!”
He raises a spatula-shaped brooch in mock ceremony. A pigeon lands on a nearby roof and coos respectfully.
Newly Appointed, Poorly Equipped
Cedric beams with pride. “At last, recognition,” he whispers. He turns to the others. “We have been called. Nay—chosen! We ride for Hommlet by sundown.”
Fizz claps politely. “Do we get pizza?”
Joff spins the god wheel again. It lands on Istus. “Fate says yes.”
Mouse glances at the wagon. “Do we even have a mule?”
Meanwhile, Cedric negotiates with Mellan von Rippentroppf, who drops a single platinum piece into the paladin’s gauntlet. Cedric turns, puzzled.
“We are four,” he declares, pulling his dagger. “Fairness demands balance.”
With great effort, he saws the coin into quarters, handing one to each companion, beaming as he does.
Fizz licks his coin. “Tastes like regret and economics.”
NPC Roster
Lord Ambassador To'mas Waverly: Ambassador and member of the Guardians of Greyhawk
Mellan von Rippentroppf - Swarthy human. Commissions Party to deliver a box to Burne in Hommlet
Lady Orlana of the Rose-Mist Court - arch-fey patron for the Warlock Fizz
Rannos Davl - Merchant in Hommlet, recipient
Tanerom Krusk - Half Orc. DiGiorno Logistics Marshal
Erika - Elven Maiden. Pitch Person and head of sales for DiGiorno
Burne - His Most Worshipful Mage of Hommlet
Viscount Langard - Viscount of the Viscouty of Verbobonc
Locations
Talon's and Turkey DiGiorno stall: currently at Guildhouse Lane, Stall 6 (behind the Breadmonger's Hall)
Village of Hommlet: 5-7 days' travel (by wagon) from the Free City of Greyhawk and nestled in the Viscounty of Verbobonc, Hommlet is a seemingly tranquil hamlet where humble trade, old customs, and quiet devotion veil the lingering presence of ancient evils awakened near the ruins of the destroyed Temple of Elemental Evil.
Viscoutny of Verbobonc
End Scene 1
The party now holds:
A delivery job on behalf of Talon’s and Turkey, DiGiorno representatives
A chest from Mellan, bound for Burne, His Most Worshipful Mage of Hommlet
A sense of camaraderie born from grease, glitter, and good intentions
The knowledge that DiGiorno means cooked on a flat stone in Dwarvish.
Next Stop: Scene 2The road to Hommlet—dangerous, winding, and probably full of squirrels with ulterior motives.
